A 30-year veteran Marriage Family and Child therapist, mother of five, and grandmother of 10, Lorraine Al-Jamie helps parents to acquire skills that enhance their ability to raise high-functioning and happy children.

The Terrible Twos and Adolescence

Although the terrible twos and adolescence seem far apart, they have much in common. Both are times when children feel a great need for autonomy. Since parents are well aware that children still need us to guide them, we cannot just throw our hands up and give them the freedom they want even though at times we may all be tempted to do so.

To help our children develop skills to become responsible adults, we must provide them with opportunities to make their own decisions whenever safe – and when the consequences of a wrong choice don’t overwhelm. This is the challenge. There is a fine line between deciding what consequence may be too hurtful and which not. It takes courage and faith for a mom or dad to watch their child do something that may cause them to fall down. But it is critical that we do just that so children can learn to be thoughtful and make wise decisions before the consequences become tougher as adults.

How we go about setting limits for our children also is critical. This depends on the age and emotional development of the child. Let us start with infancy. Until around two, babies are usually fairly compliant. And then what is often referred to as “the terrible twos” hits and parents don’t know what hit them. It is extremely important that parents don’t think of their children as being BAD. It is helpful if we view this stage as our child doing what he needs to, to learn more about how the world operates. He must push against limits to learn that they exist, and learn how to cope emotionally when he finds himself up against them.

A SUBJECT that unfortunately is on our minds today is bullying. Some children’s lives become a living hell because they’ve become the tar- gets of a bully or several bullies. Death is the outcome in extreme cases. It is not unknown for a victim to commit suicide to escape from bullying. It appears to me that the attack on this outrage must be two pronged. We must help the victim and protect him physically and psychologically. And we must realize that the bully also desperately needs our help.

Who can help? Many of us: the parents and family of the victim, the parents and family of the bully. Also teachers and educational administrators, coaches and other adult leaders plus anyone who witnesses an incident of bullying. It’s so natural and easy for passersby to not act by telling himself that it’s none of his business and that it is the responsibility of other adults to deal with the situation. But you cannot assume that someone else is going to rescue the child.

30-year veteran Marriage Family and Child Therapist and mother of 5 assists parents in acquiring skills that enhance their ability to raise high-functioning and happy children.

Respect

What outcome are we aiming for?

It is almost universally agreed that the most important job in the world is raising a child, and yet, it is often something we undertake without any preparation. Generally, we parent as we were parented and sometimes this leads to a positive outcome. However, we are not always clear about what outcome we are aiming for.

Blind obedience?

Do we want our children to be blindly obedient? In some cases, “yes.” For example when we shout “STOP” when our child is about to step into oncoming traffic without looking. But how about when we call them to come to us when they are in the middle of some task that is important to them? Are we willing to hear “just a minute, I’m playing a video game.” For some, that is a natural and acceptable response. For others it may feel like defiance. What makes for that difference in our reaction? Generally, it is in the tone of the relationship we have developed with that child.

Mutual respect

When we have built a relationship based on mutual respect and trust, we are much less likely to interpret our child’s response as defiance. For many it is a novel idea that “respect” is a quality that goes in both directions. We are likely to believe that our children owe us respect. We are less likely to understand that our children also want respect.

Getting Along & Getting Things Done in Korea!

The Importance Of Saving Face in Korea!

Because of the importance of social class, rank and precise behavioral forms in pre-modern Korea all Koreans became incredibly sensitive about the behavior of others as well as their own actions because there were so many ways they could get into trouble.

Doing something that made someone else “lose face” or yourself losing face was not a trivial thing. It could be, and often was, disastrous—and it is still something that cannot be taken lightly.

This cultural factor gave birth to chae-myun (chay-me-yuun) or “face-saving” as one of the most important—and demanding—aspects of Korean life.

See how one of the world’s most influential people in public affairs, communications and public relations, Daniel Yankelovich, views the world.

A PROBLEM NOT CONFINED TO THE UNITED STATES

DEMOCRACIES with capitalist economic systems like those in Japan, the United States and Europe have many features in common. One is to compartmentalize thinking about the economy as if it were an autonomous system that operated in isolation of the larger society to which it belongs. Such thinking can lead to serious miscalculations of the sort that currently threaten the social contract that now prevails in the United States

Most economic theorists acknowledge that capitalism creates inequalities. This is a tradeoff that most Americans up to now have willingly accepted, despite the high value we place on equality. To reconcile the conflicting pulls of freedom and equality, Americans have settled on the principle of equality of opportunity as the underlying core value of democratic capitalism. Unfortunately, however, the traditional American value of seeking to “better oneself ” is beginning to show signs of erosion. This is because it is becoming increasingly difficult to realize.

Monday, 07 April 2014 11:41

Food Allergy

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Educating the World about the Deadly Danger of Food Allergies

Interview with Food Allergy Research & Education CEO John Lehr

Potentially deadly food allergies affect one in 13 children in the United States, or roughly two in every classroom. Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) is a nonprofit organization that works on behalf of the 15 million Americans with food allergies, including those at the risk of life-threatening anaphylaxis (an extreme and often life-threatening allergic reaction to an antigen). Tokyo Journal International Editor Anthony Al-Jamie met with FARE CEO John Lehr.

TJ: Do you know what causes food allergies?
LEHR: Food allergies have been around for a long time. What’s unusual is the dramatic increase in industrialized or developed countries, as well as the increase in developing countries. In the United States, there are eight major food allergens [milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat and soybeans], but in countries like Japan, there is a specific food, soba noodles, that is more common as a food allergen than is common here, and in Israel, sesame is a very common allergy. If you ask the leading scientists at the National Institutes of Health in the United States what is causing the dramatic increase in food allergies, there are a lot of theories but no definitive answer. There are, I think, many implications. There is certainly a genetic component to it and there is an environmental component to it. In terms of research that we’re helping to support, we’re looking at a lot of twin studies, but there is a hygiene hypothesis, a vitamin-D hypothesis, cesarean VS natural birth....

Monday, 07 April 2014 11:25

YOGA ADVOCATE JUDIT TOROK

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A regular visitor to Tokyo, New York City-based Yoga Instructor and Interculturalist Judit Torok shares her techniques for alleviating big city stress.

Yoga for Everyone

I recently read an article about parents of elementary school children in California who were outraged about their children practicing Ashtangastyle yoga at school as part of their physical education program. They claimed that yoga is inappropriate and dangerous for kids because they believe their children are being indoctrinated into the Hindu religion in a public school. I couldn’t disagree with them more. These parents, and unfortunately many other people, hold inaccurate notions of this ancient practice.

The idea that yoga is a religious activity designed to worship Hindu deities is just one of the many misconceptions about it. People frequently associate yoga with Indian gurus with long beards, bead necklaces and white turbans. A more modern misperception is perpetrated by the media images of well-toned and attractive young people in eye-catching yoga poses captured generally on the beach with a beautiful sunset behind them or in a forest with a waterfall as the background. While purely religious sects of yoga do exist and there are expensive yoga retreats organized at Caribbean beaches, these are not the norm and instead obscure what I believe is yoga’s universal appeal.

Accessible only by floatplane, a luxurious floating lodge operates for four months a year in the heart of British Columbia’s Great Bear Rainforest, one of the last untouched corners of Canada – and the world.

King Pacific Lodge

Sustainable Luxury

How do you build a five-star hotel in one of the last untouched corners of the world without hurting the environment or building roads? Make it float. The King Pacific Lodge does just that. Owned by Hideo “Joe” Morita, son of the late Sony founder Akio Morita, the lodge operates for four months of the year from June to September. It is towed to and from its docking location 380 km north of Vancouver at the beginning and end of each season, and guests arrive by floatplane.

Irvine, California Mayor Steven Choi

Brings Work, Living and Play Together at Great Park

Steven Seokho Choi is the second Korean-born mayor of Irvine, California and the first Asian American to have been elected to a four-year term on the Irvine City Council. Holding a B.A. from Kyung Hee University in Seoul, South Korea, he earned his master’s degree in library science from Louisiana State University and his Ph.D. in library and information science from the University of Pittsburgh. He founded and serves as director of Dr. Choi’s Academy and has taught at University of Southern California, University of California Irvine, California State University Los Angeles, Henderson State University, Saddleback College and Coastline Community College. His political career began when he was elected to the Irvine Unified School District School Board in 1998 and was re-elected in 2002. He was then elected to the Irvine City Council in 2004. In 2012, Choi successfully ran for Mayor of Irvine and was re-elected in 2014. Seoul Journal's Executive Editor Anthony Al-Jamie met with Mayor Choi at Irvine City Hall.

Thursday, 06 February 2014 09:55

ENGLISH CLUB

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